The Boston Globe served up a double shot of tough fashion love for men today – here and here. I was tipped off by ever-alert J, but of course not because she thought I needed any fashion tips. Here’s the rundown, paraphrased for brevity:
- Don’t wear a colored t-shirt under a dress shirt such that it shows
- Don’t wear ugly jeans
- Don’t wear a short-sleeved T over a long-sleeved one
- Don’t wear a fleece vest in the office
- Don’t wear pleated khakis ever
- When out at night, wear something other the “nightlife uniform” of “untucked striped shirt, boot-cut jean and over-gelled hair” (check, I’ll cut back on hair gel right away)
Let me add a couple, if I may…
- Never, ever, wear anything clipped to your belt that’s not medically or professionally necessary. Your cell phone is neither; put it in your pocket or buy a murse. If you must wear things clipped to your belt for professional reasons – for example, if you are a police officer – please unclip those things as soon as your duty is done or your shift is over.
- Never wear headphones, a headset, or most especially a bluetooth thingie for more than 30 seconds before or after you are actually using such equipment. If you are not actually on a call or listening to music, there should not be stuff in or on your ear. Ignore this tip and brain cancer will be the least of your worries.
- Never ride a high bike. If for some unknowable reason, you absolutely must do so on Mass Ave in Cambridge, please mount and dismount your absurd contraption at a safe distance from pedestrians. (OK, that’s not exactly a fashion tip, but it’s important. Trust me.) Being affiliated with MIT is not sufficient license to ignore this or either of the preceding tips.
Thanks for listening, gents. Together, we can make the world a better-looking place.