Kiss My Nozzle

Last week, I whinged about Whole Foods' bag policy, and now I'm going to pick on a product I buy there. Sorry for the sour streak, but if you're in New England and looking out the window right now, you're probably grumpy, too. On the other hand, I cracked a faint smile when I discovered in the course of researching this rant that WFMI CEO John Mackey's blog has been "temporarily" muzzled since July - not only is JM no longer posting, but comments to the blog have been disabled.

And, by the way, I still haven't bought a reusable bag. At least not one specifically for groceries. I still get paper bags, at least in part because they are useful around the house, for storing paper to be recycled and for draining fried food, for example.

Which brings me nowhere near my point.

I've been using Obsessively Natural Kiss My Face Moisture Shave for some time now. Usually I buy it at Whole Foods, where I discovered it in the first place. I occasionally try another kind of shaving cream/gel/soap, but I pretty much always come back to good old ONKMFMS because, despite the gripe which will follow shortly, it delivers the best shaving experience for me - easy, smooth, injury-free, pleasant-smelling.


Moisture Shave comes in a 4-oz tube for $4.39 (MSRP deduced from prices, but widely discounted, even by Whole Foods) and in an 11-oz bottle with a pump top for $7.19. That's $1.10 and $0.65 per ounce, respectively. After trying the smaller size and determining that it was good, naturally I switched up to the one that cost a lot less per shave.

Here's the problem: the pump is terrible. It's at an odd angle for one-handed use, it doesn't do a good job of getting the last of the stuff out, and most annoyingly, it clogs a lot, often causing gobs to squirt out on unpredictable vectors, and potentially leading to Farrellyesque embarrassment.

So, after spending some time obsessively cleaning the nozzle ("why is there a bent paper clip hanging from your toothbrush rack?") I gave up, tried some other brands, and evetually came crawling back to the 4-oz tube of ONKMFMS. Months, maybe years, passed, and recently, I figured I would try again, maybe they had redesigned the pump.

Same crappy nozzle, different day. One would think that this problem would have come to light somewhere along the line.

On the off chance that anybody is reading who has any pull in this matter, here are my suggestions for Obsessively Natural Kiss My Face Moisture Shave packaging:

  • Redesign the pump. Check with just about anybody, since everything else I've ever bought in a pump (moisturizer, hand gel, dish soap...) seems to work fine.
  • If that's too much work, just make a bigger tube. For example, Alba makes shave cream in an 8-oz tube. I think I might prefer this size anyway.
  • And while we're rearranging tube sizes, how about a 3-oz tube instead of the 4-oz one? Why? Ask the TSA. (And don't try to pass off a half-empty 4-oz tube as 2 oz of liquid, that's terrorist math.) I bet you could charge more than 75% of the price of the 4-oz tube. Maybe more than 100% of it with a "TSA-safe" label on it.

5 Responses

  1. bob macleod
    Hi David....thanks for the suggestions. i've asked our folks to start searching a new pump. do u wanna sample some for us ? i really hadn't heard that much (negative) about the pump ? (swear I don't live under a rock). By the way have u tried the 4 oz tube ? I LOVE the 3 oz idea. problem is the retail will be pretty close which would probably annoy a lot of loyal users (mistakenly) thinking we've lowered the size but left the price pretty much the same. Hey, thanks for staying with us !!! Much appreciated. It really is the best shave on the planet :) Cheers! Bob MacLeod Pres/Founder/(still) owner Kiss My Face
  2. Hi Bob Thanks for dropping by, I'm guessing @wholefoods tipped you off since I tweeted to them this morning. I appreciate you looking into this and I'll be sure to let you know about any extra-nice pumps I find. I think the only way to sell the 3oz next to the 4oz for a similar price would be to trumpet the "travel-safe" thing or have some different form factor maybe like a squeeze bottle. And as you say, Kiss My Face is still the best shave on the planet, just ask my shiny Web 2.0 scalp. dk
    • Kathy
      i just Googled "pump on Kiss My Face bottle not working" and found this 7 yr old post! I thought there was just a fluke with shaving cream bottle #1, but alas, pump #2 doesn't work on bottle #1 OR 2.
  3. [...] in February, I complained that Kiss My Face Moisture Shave was packaged with a lousy nozzle, and even got a nice comment from the company’s CEO, Bob MacLeod.  I didn’t think much [...]
  4. [...] limepast, I am compelled to revisit my February 2008 post, “kiss my nozzle” in which I complained about the nozzle on the pump of my shaving cream.  One thing I suggested was selling larger or smaller tubes of the stuff. And while we’re [...]
  5. I love this shaving cream, but over half the time the pump doesn't work. It is frustrating. Seems like such a simple thing.
  6. Funny, you talk about the pump. Bought KMF shaving cream in a bottle just yesterday. Tried to use it this morning and the pump did not work, I couldn't get it into the pump position so I returned it to the store.

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